Do you know when "turns the key?" Then…
Sometimes we are taken by a single perspective of seeing things and experiencing things. We can even "know" that we could behave differently before that situation that displeases us, but we simply can not. We follow acting from the old way it does not work. The way it can be cursing, demanding, charging or complaining .. Showing our dissatisfaction ... And things follow the same. It's like we "shake, shake" and nothing happened. In the background we complain to alleviate the anger or dissatisfaction at that hour. We can even feel a relief from these boring emotions to feel in the short term ... but what we really wanted, that was the change of the other, it does not happen. Then we say that it is that old way of dealing that does not work in the medium and long term. It works only at the time to relieve the difficult emotion we are experiencing.
Have you ever thought about "changing the horn by the crowd?" If you have not experienced yet, try. Same. Have you seen any goal in full boa? Already wondered in what context is it more likely to run behind the ball with hard? In that in which you listen to the heat and trust of the fans, or when the horn is rolling loose? So .. thinks about it.
When we change our posture before things that do not change, things change.
Contextual behavioral therapies, more specifically from acceptance and commitment therapy, I bring some of the psychological flexibility processes to name a bit of the above-mentioned experience: acceptance, values and shares with compromise.
acceptance has to do with making room for reality as it is, without fighting with it. The more we struggle to change what is not in our hands, the more we "sink." Values have to do with the clarity of what really matters, what is our north? Actions with commitment are those behaviors we have and who are approaching who we are, whom we want to be, of what is valuable.
"change the horn by the fans" is an action with compromise, it is much more Martha that I want to be. This exchange approaches me the kind of relationship I want to establish with the important people for me. The opening to the other and its rhythm, which is always different from ours, really frees! Welcome acceptance! Thank you.
article written by the psychologist and member of the core Contextus, Martha Wallig Brusius Ludwig.